Harvest Trilogy

Friday, December 6, 2013

Reindeer behaving badly

Shared by KJ97 Country Radio on Facebook

Everyone loves reindeer.  They're cute, they pull Santa's sleigh, and play reindeer games, but some reindeer are just a little bawdy, sometimes foul-mouthed, and definitely mischievous.  What?  You've never heard of reindeer behaving badly?  Well, they have the best PR team in the world.  No one ever realized that Rudolph's nose is so red and shiny because he partakes of way too much "special" eggnog.  They don't call the other Blitzen for no reason--he's blitzed!  Prancer?  Yep, he secretly wants to be a showgirl.  And don't get me started on Vixen, that bad, bad girl!

Here are some fun reindeer jokes and stories to tickle you just the right way.  P.S.  Rudolph says to kick back with his "special" eggnog and a little of Santa's magic dust before reading.  Says it'll make it all that much more funny.

True Story from guys-sprots.com:  After complaints from shoppers, a plastic reindeer in a South African shopping mall's lost the shiny golden Christmas tree baubles hanging between its hind legs.
(From the Daily Telegraph)

North Pole Veterinary Care Could Use a Little Help (guys-sports.com)

He says to the vet, 'Doctor, please do something for my Rudolph. His nose won't light up.
The vet walks out of the room and returns with a pet carrier.  He places the pet carrier next to the reindeer, opens it and out steps a cat.  The cat walks around the reindeer and sniffs it.  The cat then climbs back into the carrier. The animal doctor takes it out of the room and returns. He hands Santa Claus the bill.
Santa gasps, '$350 dollars! [UK £700] You didn't do anything for my Rudolph and you're charging me $350 dollars?.

The vet shrugged and replied, 'That's the usual charge.  $50 dollars for the office visit and $300 dollars for the CAT SCAN.'

Reindeer cupcakes shared by KJ97 Radio on Facebook

Is there AAA for sleighs?

 


Rap sheet:  
Dasher: Nude streaking through public streets and venues, general public nudity
Dancer: Unlawful table top dancing, hoof damage to hardwood floors.
Prancer: Illegal homosexual activity -providing sexual services for money
Vixen: Prostitution, cavorting with known criminals, canoodling
Comit: Speeding in school zones, reckless flying, numerous accidents
Cupid: Multiple marriage-for-money schemes, falsified mail order bride schemes
Donner: Grand Theft from fashionable clothing, shoe and accessory stores
Blitzen: Public drunkeness and disorderly conduct

Reindeer Behaving Badly Commemorative Ornament available on Zazzle.com for $17.95 


Breaking News Report:  Vixen has been arrested...again.  The charge:  Solicitation.  Out holiday shopping, she "blew a few bucks!" 

M. Gwynn is a freelance journalist, author, editor, and blogger.  She is a contributing writer for Sssh.com, Yahoo Voices, FashionErotica Magazine, AlwayzTherro.com, and Examiner.com as the San Antonio Sex & Relationships advisor.

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